Today was a little rough as I'm sure the next 2 weeks will be as well, yet somehow I kept a smile on my face the whole time... sorta.
Here's the deal, for those of you who don't know, I was supposed to be getting married in two weeks. The short version is it didn't work out. I'm better off without him and he's better off without me, so we parted ways. Those of you who know the real story and stood by me while it unfolded will say I'm being far too kind, but I'd rather look at it that way, it hurts a lot less to think we just weren't right for each other.
I'm not going to go on and on about how sad I am that it's not going to be my wedding day soon, cause I'm really not that upset about it. I've done my grieving and moved on. I just hate that look I keep getting from people when they remember what was supposed to be happening then I tell them it's not. I suppose I'm really partially to blame for that. When Neil and I ended it I changed EVERYTHING in my life, I moved, I changed jobs, I stopped talking to people I knew while he and I were together. Yes, it helped me feel a million times better, but now I guess I'm dealing with the aftermath.
You may be asking yourself why I can be as positive as I am. Well let me tell ya. It's cause I know that one of these days I'll get a break. I've put up with so much shit in the last three years that I'm bound to get lucky soon.
I've also met some really awesome people lately, I'm enjoying the new friendships and treasuring the few but wonderful old ones that despite my trying to change everything found a way to stay with me cause they saw something worth saving, for that I am forever thankful.
I love you all,