Friday, December 28, 2007
I know it's been forever since I've written anything on here. I feel bad about that and I'm sorry. The last few months have been kinda crazy, both good and bad.
My aunt was diagnosed with cancer in September and passed away on the 20th of December. Today was her funeral. Losing a loved one really makes you question life and how quickly everything can change.
On the positive side, back in September as well, I met the most amazing man. He has truly been my rock. I'm just dying to tell him how I feel and say those 3 little words but am holding back and waiting for him to say it first. He makes me so happy. And not the fleeting, he's kinda good in the sack so I'll stick in there kind of happy like I've been in the past, but rather that deep down, knowing he'll be there for me if I ever need him and wanting to do anything so he'll know how special he is kind of happy.
It's been an odd couple years, lots of ups and downs. Lots of heartache and joys. I'm starting to see how everything fits together.
My sister pointed out an interesting thing to me the other day; she said "You realize if you hadn't been with Neil(The ex), you probably would have ended up with someone else and would have never met Andrew(The current)." Then also at the funeral today my aunt's pastor mentioned that she had said to him that she wondered if God made her sick so that her family could be closer. It was really sad but helped to put everything into perspective and helped me to see once again how everything happens for a reason.
So all in all there have been ups and downs, but when isn't there in this life?
Happy new year to all.
BTW, me and my man....
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
There is however a strong correlation between couples and having a somewhat combined memory. This seems to come in to play quite often with one part of the couple being the one who plans the schedule and the other taking care of household things.
They even did a study of couples who had been together longer than 3 months; some of the couples were kept together and some were split up and paired with someone else. They were then given paragraphs to read and remember. The couples who were together remembered twice as much as the groups of people who had never met.
Until recently I'd always been the more responsible one in the relationship, thus the one who paid the bills, kept the schedule, remembered all the b-days, so when reading this I nod my head affirmatively and understand exactly where the author is coming from.
It is said that this is why breakups are so hard on people, not only are you loosing the companionship, but you're also losing those stored memories. Maybe this is yet another reason humans are meant to live in groups and partnerships. hmmmm.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
I hate how people from your past can ruin you for the wonderful people of the present or future. I recently met the most amazing man, he is so wonderful to me and treats me like a princess.
I am so scared that I'm going to push him away because I have no idea what it's like to be in a normal relationship. When I was with my ex, it was almost like clockwork, things would get to that comfortable stage where it turns from the fluttery relationship to the deeper one and not a week or so later would he start telling me about how he fell out of love with me and he was having the fluttery feelings for someone else. Then somehow we'd work through it and things would be fluttery for him with me again and the cycle would repeat itself. This went on for 3 yrs until I finally moved out.
So now I am scared to death that now that things are getting comfortable with Brad (that's his name for those of you who asked) that it's going to happen all over again, but of course without the wandering eye as Brad is WAY too good to ever do that. So there's part of me that wants to back away and give him his space cause that's what would work with the ex, but I really like him and don't want him to think that I don't want to be with him.
I'm so confused, I think my past has left me broken. Help.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Sunday, April 01, 2007
We launched our province wide campaign to target the stigma that surrounds mental illness. You can check out the website and through there see the TV spots here: www.mymentalhealth.ca
Then on Friday I saw my ex Neil. What a sad story. It's really sad that he feels the need to tell me about all his sexual conquests and all the women in his life. Yes, because that's supposed to make me jealous that you're sleeping with a bunch of women you barely know. And poor me, I'm only intimate with one man I care about rather than a bunch that I don't. lol. Sorry for the bitterness everyone, I just thought he was a tad brash.
Then after that oh so lovely incident I went to get the oil in my car changed and it turns out the place forgot to tighten the filter so all the oil leaked out and my car stalled, luckily I was near another location of the same place so they fixed it up. However I'm still taking the car to the mechanic to see if there's any damage. So now I feel a bit like that friend of a friend that someone once knew.
Had a wonderful evening with my sweetie, he's so awesome, he spoils me rotten, it's great.
But I must be off, I have to head to my lovely job for the day then who knows...
Sunday, March 25, 2007
I've met the most amazing man, he's sweet, sensitive, incredibly caring and generous, and truly genuine. He makes me laugh and I don't think I've smiled that much in years.
I guess that's what happens when you stop looking. I'd almost given up completely, beginning to think Ophelia must have been a 26yr old single woman when Hamlet uttered those famed words "get thee to a nunnery"; well not really, but it makes for a better story. All I can say is about a month ago I wasn't looking but I met someone wonderful and I'm enjoying exploring this crazy journey of ours. I'm happier then I've been in years, AND we both speak mac, lol. (We're both designers, lol.)
Well, I'll keep you all posted.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Yes, I'm still around and I'm quite ok. I've gotten a couple e-mails from people noticing I haven't posted in a while and checking in on me. Thank you.
Things have become quite busy in my little life in both good ways and not so good.
I'm re-considering friendships because they don't seem to fit me anymore. I think I've outgrown some people in my life, and on the flip side I've grown into a whole new set of circumstances. I'm finding it quite intriguing to look at where I was 6 months ago and where I am today.
I think this a good place for me to share all the things I'm so thankful for;
- Having a wonderful place to live; a place that feels more and more like me every day.
- My two wonderful kitties that wake me up with snuggles and kisses.
- My family who stuck by me during what seems to have been the hardest thing I ever had to do.
- Having someone I can call and tell all the good and the bad and have them support me.
- Friends who even if I don't talk to them for a couple months still greet me with kisses.
- Earlobe hickeys.
- Being whisked away so I didn't have to think about what was supposed to be on Feb 24.
- Friends I can be silly with - "Oh My"
- mac - need I say more.
- Bowling with the wrong fingers.
Amongst MANY MANY other things. Here's hoping the next 6 months will be as enlightening.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Be sure to take a look at my flickr page to keep up to date on this project.
Here's a couple pics of some odd looking candies I've come across.
<----The licorice Aliens (Licorice kids) just hanging out. Yo! Lol
Chocolate Ju jube bunnies? ------->
Who knew? BTW they tasted like icing, and there's nothing like a candy where in a 39g serving you get 24g of sugar. But you do get 2% of your daily iron and calcium. Blah.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
I spent the evening with a couple of very close friends and after spending a night laughing things feel a lot better. There's still a lot going through my head but it's nice to get a break. Thanks guys.
Well this is my 100th post.
You're probably all expecting celebratory cheers and such, but not today. Sorry.
Sometimes in an effort to make yourself look stronger you put on a tough front, you tell the world that everything is great and that you're so extremely happy that they should all hope to be like you one day. However, deep inside you're not ok.
Someone new and special in my life (TS) asked me the other day if I was lonely, of course I brushed it off and was like "nah, I'm fine", but I got to thinking about what he asked and yeah I am. There's really nothing like silence to get you thinking about what's missing in your life. I know things are really good for me compared to some.
Poor TS has problems I just wish I could brush away and make everything better.
My ex is in rehab for an addiction that took over his life and I found out that it almost ended it.
There are people starving, people in much worse situations than me.
So why is it then that I'm throwing my very own pity party? I don't know the answer to that. Probably just because I was canceled on twice today, so I'm feeling a tad rejected.
I just hope things get better soon.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
What Your Coffee Says about You
Espresso: There's no time like the present, and there's no time to waste! The espresso drinker has a dynamic mind, and always has 101 things on the go. Make that 102.
Black: The black drinker likes a simple, uncomplicated life. They are aware of the world around them and have no trouble forming opinions -- or letting you know about them!
Café Latte: Rest and relaxation are two very important things in the life of a latte drinker. They like to take time over major decisions, preferring to watch the world go by than rush into things.
Cappuccino: The cappuccino drinker is a reliable friend who's always there in times of need. They comfort, reassure and help put things in perspective when we lose sight of the big picture.
Café Mocha: Fans of the café mocha are sometimes indecisive. They love to indulge in life's small pleasures and don't like to compromise when it comes to their individuality.
Monday, February 26, 2007
The rules are simple. Answer each question in three words. No more, no less.
1. Where is your cell phone? In my purse
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend? Don’t have one
3. Hair? Blond, but red
4. Your mother? Sweet and loving
5. Your father? Gentle yet stern
6. Your favorite item(s)? Cellphone, ipod, minimac
7. Your dream last night? Tired, no dreams
8. Your favorite drink? Pitcher of belinis
9. Your dream guy/girl? My Mr Right
10. The room you are in? busy, noisy, home
11. Your fear? Nightime break in
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? Successful, power woman
13. Who did you hang out with last night? Best friend Rob
14. What are you not? Skinny, male, married
15. Are you in love? Once I was
16. One of your wish list items? Finding a man
17. What time is it? 8 o’clock PM
18. The last thing you did? Typed this post
19. What are you wearing? Boots, black pants
20. Your favorite book? George Orwell’s 1984
21. The last thing you ate? Pasta I made
22. Your life? Eager to start
23. Your mood? Pensive, optimistic, tired
24. Your friends? Loving, caring, supportive
25. What are you thinking about right now? Too much work
26. Your car? Old VW Jetta
27. What are you doing at this moment? Working, stressing, procrastinating
28. Your summer? Coming too slow
29. Your relationship status? Single and looking
30. What is on your TV screen? It’s not on
31. When is the last time you laughed? This last weekend
32. Last time you cried? When it ended
33. School? University of Calgary
Sunday, February 18, 2007
My life was recently the victim of bad timing. On Wed night (yes valentines day) I met the most amazing man, we clicked on every level. Smart, funny, goals, there was even that elusive butterfly feeling. We talked for 4 hrs and decided that we should take this up the next night over drinks and dessert. That went famously and we sorta found ourselves making out like teenagers. Sounds great doesn't it. Perfect fairy tale. But here's where the bad timing comes in. Something from his past (not going into details as they're not mine to share) came up and we came to the conclusion that it's not a good time to bring someone new in. So that's the end of that, we talked for a little bit and realized that yeah we totally get each other just the timing really sucks. He thanked me for being so understanding, but I don't see how I could have been any other way, it wasn't his fault. We've all had bad breakups where the other person decides to mess things up for you just one last time months later. So for now we parted ways, I told him to give me a call when things settle down, but we'll have to wait and see.
Will the timing ever line up just right for me?
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Here's the deal, for those of you who don't know, I was supposed to be getting married in two weeks. The short version is it didn't work out. I'm better off without him and he's better off without me, so we parted ways. Those of you who know the real story and stood by me while it unfolded will say I'm being far too kind, but I'd rather look at it that way, it hurts a lot less to think we just weren't right for each other.
I'm not going to go on and on about how sad I am that it's not going to be my wedding day soon, cause I'm really not that upset about it. I've done my grieving and moved on. I just hate that look I keep getting from people when they remember what was supposed to be happening then I tell them it's not. I suppose I'm really partially to blame for that. When Neil and I ended it I changed EVERYTHING in my life, I moved, I changed jobs, I stopped talking to people I knew while he and I were together. Yes, it helped me feel a million times better, but now I guess I'm dealing with the aftermath.
You may be asking yourself why I can be as positive as I am. Well let me tell ya. It's cause I know that one of these days I'll get a break. I've put up with so much shit in the last three years that I'm bound to get lucky soon.
I've also met some really awesome people lately, I'm enjoying the new friendships and treasuring the few but wonderful old ones that despite my trying to change everything found a way to stay with me cause they saw something worth saving, for that I am forever thankful.
I love you all,
Saturday, February 03, 2007
I'm 26, I work for a non-profit doing communications, love my job, it's very rewarding. It's nice to go home and know you made a difference. Kinda sappy I know... Sometimes a girl needs to be a bit of a dork.
I'm a independent woman, I live alone with my two cats and enjoy my quiet time; that way nobody can complain when I sing along to the radio, but would like to find someone to have a few laughs with... singing is optional. lol
As far as what I'm looking for in a man, I like a man with a good sense of humor, intelligence, adventurous, confident, handsome, as well as many other qualities. Please send a picture, you get to see me, so it's only fair. Also I love the kind of guy who likes to wear khakis or jeans and a ball cap on the weekends but dresses nice mon- fri. (Only men between 28-35 please)
I enjoy spending time outdoors hiking and skiing as well as cuddled up watching a movie with a glass of wine. I'm willing to try anything once, I actually used to write in the Calgary Sun about all my adventures with new sports and such. So pretty much I've done everything from driving a rally car to fencing and learning to snowboard (That ended with me giggling in the snow after falling off the chair lift, lol). I can totally laugh at myself and like when others can laugh at themselves as well.
I'd really love to find a versatile guy who likes to spend time out as well as a quiet night at home.
Most important of all, if you can make me laugh and bring something to the conversation you've got my attention.
So drop me a line if your interested. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Things are going great for me, I've been super crazy busy, almost all of which is self imposed.
I'm in the middle of reading an awesome book... "The tipping point" It's about social connectivity and how it affects marketing trends and other epidemics. I suggest you all go read it. And for those of you who already have, yes I realize I'm a total 'maven', I do this with everything not just my blog life.
The next thing is I recently bought the coolest cellphone, it has every feature I ever thought I wanted and some I didn't know I wanted. Just an FYI, last HNT was taken with my 2mgp camera phone. Tee hee. Also it's gold, so I like it.
My third and final thing is I'm discovering that men aren't too bad. I went on a really great date on Friday, he was a total gentleman, we went to a movie, and he called the next day. How nice is that? (Yes Os, I know when you were my age men called no matter what, I wish it was still like that)
I've also been talking to a few more men that like women with a 'bit of meat on their bones', it's really nice to hear that men in their late 20's early 30's are more open to girls like me as I'll never look like a supermodel but I make a damn great girlfriend.
Well I must be off but I'm going to try to post more often.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
I've also decided to do bit of my body, piece by piece and where better to start than my tootsies. So here they are, enjoy.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
I just have a really hard time blocking someone out of my life if they get up the courage to apologize for things that are almost unforgivable. Especially the person I'd at one time thought would be my one and only.
From time to time people build up the courage to change everything in their lives, be it they hit rock bottom or just get tired of feeling a certain way and they feel they need to atone for all the jerky things they had done. This was one of those conversations.
I know a lot of you read my posts over the last few months and get that I was at a point where I almost gave everything up and I've gotten to a point a few times where I just had to change everything. So, I understand to a certain extent when he says he just needed to change everything.
I don't want to go into too much detail about what happened as far as the steps that lead up to this point or how far he went when he hit rock bottom. (The lesson to be learned is if you live with someone as a 'roommate' and are sleeping with them it's really not a secret that can be kept for very long as emotions get thrown into the mix, especially if this was after they'd just lost the person they were supposed to spend their life with.) Those of you who are in the need to know about this situation already know everything so there's no point in re-hashing.
Let's just say that we were both sitting on the phone crying to each other, and for the first time in years I actually believed what he was saying about feeling sorry and trying to make things right with me. I also hate to admit it, but I actually felt a bit of sympathy for all the crap he went through after I moved out and over the last couple months. Don't worry, I just said a bit, not a lot.
He had made a point to me and to the other person involved that he didn't ask me to marry him to make anyone jealous but rather because he thought he had everything and I was a part of that. Those were the words I really needed to hear, I had spent so much time hating him for that.
He also said that he really wanted to make a big gesture to show me just how sorry he is. There's part of my that still wants that grand gesture, I still want to feel he went out of his way for me as I spent far too long ignoring his philandering and his anger issues. However, the fact that he's going the extra mile to make things better, no, not just the calling, he's actually in rehab and counseling, those make up for a lot of the crap I had to deal with.
Well, I just wanted you to all know that Neil is trying very hard to make things better. I know I've spent a lot of time griping but I think it's time I put that aside and recognize that he's trying to make a better life for himself and I hope you all do too.
He might not yet be one of the good guys, but I've come to see that he's gotten to be one of the not all bad guys.
Best of luck Neil.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
|Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect|
Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it.
You have the confidence to make the first move.
And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best.
Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!