Thursday, April 23, 2009

26 weeks

Wow, I am SOO behind in posting. It's funny how time goes by so quickly sometimes.

This month has been a bit of a nightmare, mostly work related stress. I tend to come home either in tears or just so exhausted that I just sleep. I know this isn't good for me or the baby, so I'm going to talk to my Dr about going on stress leave until she's born then start my Maternity leave. This will work the best for me and hubby as with him being a teacher, he's off all summer so the later I can start my maternity leave the better as he'll be able to be a babysitter when I go back to work.

Just yesterday I also found out I have gestational diabetes. Yippee. Oh well, not the end of the world. Also, this way I'll probably get to see ultrasounds of the baby far more often. The hardest part I have to say was the day I found out. My first thoughts were: OMG, did I eat anything I shouldn't? And What will I eat for lunch? After doing some reading it is getting a lot easier. Also I have a meeting with the gestational diabetes clinic tomorrow when I will get a whole lot more info and will learn to test my blood sugar.

Other than that things are going well, the baby feels like she's doing Riverdance in my belly. I'm half expecting her to come out in a little outfit with plaid socks.

But things are going well, here's hoping the next couple weeks work out well also.

Best wishes to all, and babydust to anyone who needs it.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

21 weeks

Sorry for not writing last week. Life has been a bit of a whirlwind.

I'm starting to get really frustrated with how my work is starting to take things off my plate. I totally understand where they're coming from and why they're doing it, but it still sucks. All of a sudden I'm not in the loop with new things as I'll be here for only 3 more months tops, that is if there are no complications. And even though I know why it's happening and I do sorta foresee some complications as my blood pressure is already a bit high and my blood sugar is causing them to do the Diabetes tests early and often, it still sucks.

Other thing that's bothering me is the fact that my assistant is going to be taking over my position while I'm on Mat leave and I know full well that she's not ready. I think my boss is convinced that it'd be too hard to find someone new despite the fact that there are now more people than jobs. The main reason I think she isn't ready is it takes her 2 days to do something I do in an afternoon and she's already struggling with the amount of work I give her and I give her a quarter of what I do and she won't have an assistant. Oh well, not my decision. I'd just love to be a fly on the wall for her first month or two.

But on the upside, hubby is whisking me away for a week next week to get some much needed R&R, and when I get back it's only 13 more weeks till Mat leave, then 17 more weeks till baby.
Hip hip, so it all works out as it should.

Lots of love.

Friday, March 06, 2009

19 weeks

Hi everyone,
Well this was a very stressful week for me at work, but thankfully I got through it and it's the weekend.

As far as baby stuff. We had our ultrasound this week. It was so nice to see her again and see that she has a really strong heartbeat of 157. Very reassuring.

So funny thing, most of her measured 18 weeks 6 days, which was dead on, but somehow our little girl has long legs. Something neither my husband or I posses. Mind you we both have members of our families who were gifted with the gams, but neither of us. So her legs came in at 20 weeks, also when you look at the ultrasound, not that it means anything at this point, but she might have some full lips too. So maybe hubby should start practicing with the shotgun now. lol

But all is well. We're taking off this weekend to stay with some friends in Invermere and we just decided that we're going to take off for spring break as well and hear out to Vancouver as we both need some time away.
So I hope all is well with everyone else and I'll keep you all posted. I have my first obstetrician appointment next week so it should be good.
Love ya,

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

18 weeks

Hi all,

Sorry for not posting last week, it wasn't intentional I was just busy with work and such.

Today is a bit of an off day. I felt a little ill yesterday and today I have a bit of eye strain. The biggest problem is that I'm doing what I always seem to do and worry like you would not believe about little Maggie in the few days before I have an ultrasound scheduled.

I'm sure it's mostly because I've been busy today and probably rocked her to sleep. I think I might also be freaking out because over the weekend there was a evening when I was really able to feel her moving around and doing sommersaults and today I'm not feeling that. Be it that she's not as active or maybe in a different position, who knows. Regardless I'm going to be laying down and waiting for her to move pretty much as soon as I finish typing this.

On a lighter note, I went to my first pre-natal yoga class last night. I was great to meet other women in all different stages of pregnancy and see what I can expect. It was also just nice to be able to move and be in tune with my body again like that. I really enjoyed the class.

So I hope everyone is doing well and I'll keep you posted on the Ultrasound on Monday.


Monday, February 09, 2009

16 weeks

Hi everyone,

Well, I'm now 16 weeks along. I'm getting a total baby bump, I'd almost say more of a baby balloon.
We've come to terms with the test results and talked to the genetic counselor and are basically OK with whatever happens as we'll love her no matter what.

A very cool thing happened this weekend, I've found that if I put my hand on my tummy and lightly press down she seems to kick back at me. It's very gentle and almost feels as if someone is lightly tapping you, but definitely there. Very cool.

So our little family is doing great, we have an ultrasound in a few weeks where we get to see her again, and this time she'll look more like our little girl. I'm so excited.

Hope everyone is doing great.
Love ya,

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

15 weeks

Well we got the results. They're bitter sweet.

It's a little girl. But she partially inherited a gene that could potentially cause her to have learning issues. 

So needless to say I'm devastated. I've been crying on and off since we got the news.
We'll of course love her no matter what. But there's just that moment when you realize that your perfect little baby may not be so perfect after all. 

The gene she partially inherited is Fragile X, I say partially because what has happened is that she got one totally normal X from my husband but then got a bad X from me, now in most cases if the bad X is going to expand and cause an issue it does it in all the areas where it's present, however in my little girl, in some areas this X has stayed the smaller so a pre-mutation and in other areas it's expanded. So she's what is referred to as mosaic, it's quite rare and there isn't a lot of info on mosaic girls, be that because they don't show symptoms of the disorder or because it doesn't happen often is yet to be seen. 

I feel so much guilt for passing this on to my little girl. In some ways I actually feel as if I've already been a bad mother to her. 

The silver lining of all this is that in regular full mutation females they only show symptoms 50% of the time, then in the ones that do 50% of them are normal intellectually and only have mild learning disabilities such as a difficulty with math, then the others are somewhere between mild to moderate, so they may need special classes. We meet with the genetic counselor on Friday to find out more but she kinda hinted on the phone that girls in this situation are almost never mentally retarded, as it was only a partial expansion. So we wait to talk to her and then wait to see what happens.

I really don't know what to do with myself, I can't stop crying and worrying that if she does need special help that I won't be able to do a good enough job for her. I realize it's a unrealistic fear as both my husband and his mother have adamantly pointed out that the fact that I even ask the question means that I'll be good.

My husband on the other hand keeps insisting that he's fine with the worst case scenario and so  he's just thrilled to be having a daughter. He even went out last night and bought a cake to celebrate naming her.

I am just so scared that she'll be worse than anyone expected and then he'll change his mind or I'll change my mind and it'll end our marriage. Silly I know, but it's a concern.

I think I'm going to start seeing a psychologist so I can get all of these emotions under control before she's born so I won't have to worry about post partum depression.

So that's where things are at, we got the results but we still don't know the answers.

BTW, her name is going to be Margaret (Maggie) Emma, it's both of our great grandmother's names together. Mines was Emma and his was Margaret. We like it. And yes no matter what we'll still love her with all our hearts. 

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Almost 14 weeks

Sorry, for not posting for the last little bit. Things have been a tad stressful.

See, on the 15th we had a CVS done on the baby. It's genetic test where they take a bit of the placenta and test the DNA for genetic disorders. This is unfortunately the big test for us. If it goes bad, then there is a serious problem with the baby.
So needless to say, I'm stressed out. I get that there's between a 14 - 25% chance that there's anything wrong and that's really low, but it's still a chance. As such, I've been very emotional and as an unfortunate side effect I've been resisting the urge to bond with the baby, just in case.

The worst part is that my sister in-law is also pregnant and she's 19 weeks, so everything is all fine and happy with them. I just really resent it, and I really hate going to see them right now knowing full well that there is a 14 - 25% chance that our baby will have a problem that will make it so that it won't survive.

So for the next week and a half we just wait for the results. Wait and cross our fingers. If anyone is reading this, can you please cross your fingers for us too. Maybe the more people hoping for us will help our case with the powers that be.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

11 weeks - 29 to go

Hi everyone,

Well things are going well. I've discovered the joy of going to see the chiropractor. As it turns out my hips weren't moving properly and that would have caused huge problems when the time came to deliver little embie. So I've been getting regular adjustments to fix that well he's been adjusting my neck to help with the morning sickness. I must say I'm not going to give up my anti nauseants just yet.

This stage is very surreal as some days I swear I can feel the baby move around but everything says I shouldn't be able to feel it yet. So who knows. Mind you I am the same woman who can feel when I ovulate every month so maybe I'm quite in tune with my body.

It is getting harder to get a full night's sleep, I seem to wake up at least once to go to the bathroom and a few times to roll over. Who knew that something so small inside me could affect me this early.

Our genetic test has been bumped to next week, they said they're getting more accurate results from 12 weeks vs 11 so even though I was all phyched to do it this week, I'm stuck waiting one more. Oh well. The test itself doesn't scare me, it's the results and the bed rest I have to on for 3 days after it's done. That will suck.

So there's my update for this week, pretty uneventful.

Here's wishing everyone a wonderful week.

Hugs and kisses E