Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Back to the finger pricking

Well it would seem that I have diabetes again with this pregnancy just like I did with Maggie.
I've forgiven myself for it because all the new literature makes it very clear that if you have a family history of diabetes you'll more than likely get it no matter what your lifestyle. I've just been lucky enough to only have issues when I'm pregnant so far. Oh well.

In other news Maggie walked 3 steps yesterday. I know it's not tons but it's definitely a start. Way to go Miss Maggie.

He's wishing everyone a happy and healthy Tuesday.

Sunday, September 12, 2010


Well today was a mix of frustration and delight.

First off Miss Maggie took some real first steps, not the accidental 'oh no, I'm falling I need to move my feet' type. It was her walking towards me. What an amazing feeling. I'm pretty sure by the end of the week she'll be walking on her own.

I've also been frustrated with some people and some situations in my life as of late, some of it got resolved today, other bits will take a lot more work and some things I feel as if I've been forced to bite my tongue and grin and bear it. It's so frustrating knowing things will never change. Mostly because I can't make people apologize for being who they really are. As really how fair is that. I know I would be pissed if somebody asked me to say I was sorry for who I was. Oh well, I feel things are at the bottom and you can only go up from here. So it WILL get better.

But other than that today was pretty good, went to the Zoo, made a lasagna with my mom, and watched miss Maggie take her first steps.

Hope everyone else is having a good time on this ride called life.

Friday, September 10, 2010

I'm back

Well I've decided to come back.

I'm sorry I took such a long break, shortly after I made my last post I received a very nasty email from THE ex. Those of you who are long time readers will know who I'm talking about. He said some very cruel things about my pregnancy and as such I knew he had been reading this site and quite frankly I didn't want him to know any more about that wonderful magical time. So I left. I am sorry. I hope you'll all forgive.

I now have a 14 month old beautiful little girl named Maggie. She is the light of my life. She also causes me the most frustration. I'm sure anyone who has kids knows exactly what I mean. You love them so much that they sometimes frustrate you to no end. I'm also currently 10 weeks pregnant with number 2. This one came as quite a surprise as recently my father passed away after suffering a stroke earlier in the year so needless to say we were VERY stressed. We did end up finding out about the pregnancy while my father was in the hospice and with those that I did share the news with it was a very welcome bit of good news during the storm of bad.

I've decided to come back because I'm starting to feel once again that I need an outlet, a place where I can share my feeling and all the crazy happenings in my life right now. I remembered how much I loved writing this blog and how it provided me with so much release. So because of that I'm going to start it up again. The passing of my dad has been very hard on me. He was my hero, the smartest man I knew. I remember as a little girl if I ever had a question I would go and kneel beside his bed and ask. He ALWAYS knew the answer. With his passing I feel I've lost a huge part of my identity.
It's always so humbling to see someone you care so much about wither away in front of you. I'm reminded of a line from the Gilmore girls when Richard Gilmore had his heart attack Lorelai said he looked small laying there. I really know that feeling. To see the man I idolized be reduced to someone who couldn't even feed himself and had to be introduced to my husband because he didn't know who he was.
The thing that helped me be strong is that he always loved seeing Maggie. Even the day he had his stroke he wanted her to sit on his bed so that he could tickle her feet. I'm glad I have so many good memories to tell her.

His service was held on a beautiful saturday in August. The thing that touched me the most was that he had worked as a commissionaire at a police station for about 6 months before his stroke, so hardly a lifetime, but there were at least 10 police officers who came to the service in full uniform. Also everyone at the station had sent a giant bouquet of flowers not only when he got sick but also to the service, and they also took up a collection to get him a dvd player for the hospital and $ for my mom. It meant so much to us. I hope they know just how much it meant. It was so nice to hear them talk about how great my dad was. I will hold that with me forever.

So my life is starting to go back together. Piece by piece, eventually I'll make a whole again. I'm hoping this will help.

Sending love, love, love.