I've been doing a lot of thinking this last week.
I still have a lot of anger and hurt in my heart, but because I'm wanting to begin a new chapter in my life I want to heal my heart and cut through the anger and become a more loving, caring person.
I've found that writing my pain down on here for the world to see has been really theraputic for me. It must be the fact that I spent many years as a professional journalist, I'm used to the world reading my inner thoughts. I think it's also the closeness I feel to those who read my blog and the love I feel when you share your stories with me.
I've decided to write a list of the things that have caused me anger and pain in the last year in an attempt to free them from my keeping...
- When he cheated on me
- When they both tried to hide it from me
- When it was all said and done and I'd delt with it he told her I was still keeping him from talking to her, when I had actually become so numb that I didn't care
- When I realised that he misses the cat more than me
- When he stopped wanting to make love to me and would rather be with our other partner
- When he expected me to support him finacially
- When he'd try to convince me I was mentally ill as a way to explain my being oppinionated and emotional
- When he told me his family all hated me
And the one thing I did to free myself.... Move out while he was at work the day after he told me he only proposed to make her jelous.
I deserve so much more. I deserve to be free. I'm getting there. I'm a strong woman.
Also due to the overwhelming response from my HNT, i thought I'd post more pics of me with long hair. Enjoy.